Kitoba Dot Com

McCain Endorses Obama

‘Maverick’ Candidate Defies Expectations Again
Columbus, OH
October 25, 2008

In a surprise move today, Republican Presidential nominee Senator John McCain has announced that he is endorsing his Democratic rival, Senator Barack Obama. ”While I have nothing but respect for my own years of service to this great nation, and to the bravery and courage I showed during my years of imprisonment during the Vietnam War, it has become obvious to me that this country needs a new and different direction in leadership, and that I am utterly incapable of providing it.”

McCain went on to cite the increasingly negative tone of his own campaign as a determining factor in his decision, as well as a longstanding sense of estrangement from the more conservative elements in his own party. ”I am, as I think everyone knows by now, a maverick with a capital ‘M’. I’ve never been Miss Popularity among Republicans, and frankly, there isn't much left in the platform of the Republican party that I in any way support or endorse.”

Also an issue was his attention-grabbing nomination of polarizing figure Governor Sarah Palin. “Yes, that was the clincher. Is she a dynamic figure, a smart politician, and an inspiration to women everywhere? Absolutely. But ready to lead the country? Absolutely not.”

Despite acknowledging that he has already cast an absentee ballot for Obama, McCain insists he has no plans to suspend his own campaign. ”If there’s one thing you can’t call John McCain, it’s a quitter. I plan to stay on the campaign trail until I achieve a victory, and if that means continuing to campaign after the election is over, so be it. If it takes a hundred more months, I shall not cut and run.”

In related news, the McCain campaign today released a controversial new ad series focused around rumored Obama supporter Willie Horton.

Next >>