kitoba
a day in the life
Morning
a day in the life
by kitoba
M o r n i n g
1
In the beginning
before the dawn
when GOD called forth light
I was not yet born
yet I was there
as yet unaware
contemplating a world
that was yet to appear
2
In the beginning
we were all as one
because we all were one
and because we all dwelt
within the one
but we longed to know ourselves
as GOD only knew ourselves
when he looked through ourselves
as they slept in the one
Swallowing the void
like so much air
we thrust ourselves
into the world
of willful exile
Self-employed
by weary care
we failed to find ourselves
where we were curled
in the soul of a newborn child
3
In the beginning
were the angels
and the angels were with GOD
and the angels were GOD’s
contemplation of GODself
manifestations of GOD’s attention
to detail
And the best and the brightest was Lucifer
and the light shown in Lucifer
and Lucifer comprehended it not
neither understood it
nor enclosed it
neither ended it
nor proposed it
so we come to the thick of the plot
The proclamation
by Lucifer
of the divinity
of Lucifer
a case of original plagiarism
a failure to give credit to the original author
a simple fact misconstrued
the sin of greatest magnitude
How can the part take the place of the whole?
When the whole is infinite as the sea
and the part as finite as the raindrop?
How can the part rebel against the whole
When the whole is perfect as the sun
and the part as jealous as the moon?
If Lucifer could be GOD then all that was not Lucifer would perish
in fire
and all that was Lucifer would perish
from desire
4
I am an emissary
from a future society
where we all live
in perfect harmony
But I was sent backwards
backwards in time
to this backwater of time
in lieu of an army
A mission born of hubris
I volunteered with pride
I was so very anxious
to reach the other side
Where surely they would need me
a man of my far reaching talents
Where surely they would greet me
and crown me
and feed me
That was many years ago
I found out to my sorrow
A thousand others also came
as servants of tomorrow
And all of us as yet have failed
though all of us have tried
and none of us can yet return
unto that other side
We cannot give up the battle
unless we take the guilt
For save unless we build it
tomorrow shall not be built
5
Sometimes it all goes right
Sometimes it goes all wrong
Sometimes you mess it up yourself
That’s when the days seem long
Sometimes it’s in your heart
Sometimes it’s in your head
Sometimes you mess up in your pants
While lying in your bed
Sometimes it is a struggle
Sometimes it is a fight
Sometimes you mess it all up but
It still turns out all right
© 2000 Christopher Sunami, all rights reserved
...continue to Afternoon
Afternoon
a day in the life
by kitoba
Afternoon
1
I bought my ticket for the show
the price was too damn high
they will not stamp it paid-in-full
until the day I die
I bought my ticket for the ride
they warned me not to go
I told them I found life at home
to be much too damn slow
I bought my ticket for the train
to look out as I passed
the view was all that I had wished
but went by too damn fast
I bought my ticket for the fair
it was not fair at all
I know not was it too damn vast
or I just too damn small
The times I had were full of joy
and just as often sad
I wish that I could go again
I guess it’s too damn bad
2
We wished to come to be
And so our selves were born
You wished to be yourself
And that, itself, was the act
That shook the fundament
With the seeds of rebellion
A rebellion?
you ask, how could such a thing be?
and why would it shake the fundament
only to be born
what is riotous in such an act
(which you did not choose yourself)
I assure you that the choice was yours
And you chose to rebel
T’was not your parents conceptive act
that caused you to “be”
in point of fact you were born
from the recognition of your self fundamental
Forged from the raw fundament
you
were born
a rebel
under the banner “To be
is to act”
Arising, in response to your bold act
from all corners of the fundament
came the spirits that you wished to be
At the moment in which you chose yourself,
and against conformity rebelled
they entered you and were born
You were born
to act
But a rebel
against the fundament
is not all that you
must be
For, at death you shall not cease to be
nor yet be what you were before you were born
You shall still be yourself
in proportion to the mortal acts
through which you expressed the fundament
before conceding your rebellion
3
Lucifer & Mammon
Met the Fool one day
And each asked of the others
To whom do you pray?
Said Mammon:
I have a set of figurines
I bought them cheap, on sale
And whensoever I wish to pray
I find they fit the bill
I pray to one for fortune
I pray to one for fame
I pray to one to get ahead
When e’er I play the game
I keep them polished shiny
My friends I must impress
For he who dies with all the toys
is surely judged “the best”
Said Lucifer:
Your figurines are made of clay
And are quickly swept away
Let all raise cups and drink my health
For I pray only to myself
Who else has hooves as neat and clean
A tail so long, a torso lean
as mine and who else is so clever?
I think I’ll surely live forever
Through the science which I practice
Plain to see, the simple fact is
I am like a happy dream
There is no doubt I am supreme
Said the Fool, in a voice full of scorn:
Listen to these superstitions
Lulled to sleep by pretty fictions
You must seek some new directions
When you go to pray
First ask yourself what is the point
Why follow such a custom quaint
You’ll find your time is better spent
When not squandered away
Mammon’s figurines are junk
Lucifer’s perfection bunk
Who is underneath the stair
When you look there’s no-one there
And so I tell you au contraire
There’s no one to pray to
At that the others kept their peace
and swiftly went away
4
My shadow self
dwells in the filth
I smelt my own stink, and it suited me fine
mine mine mine mine
An ocean of tears
a closet of fears
The pain of the wound in the salty brine
mine mine mine mine
Picking the scab to watch it bleed
Acting the pig when I go to feed
being slapped in the face and responding in kind
mine mine mine mine
Cock of the walk
steps on a line
On the top of the mount grows the mightiest pine
If you show me yours then I’ll show you mine
mine mine mine
5
Alone I am not alone
In silence I hear a thousand voices
In deserts I taste a thousand oceans
In darkness I see a thousand suns
Asleep I am not asleep
In dreams I live a thousand lives
In books I read a thousand selves
In light I cast a thousand shadows
In stillness I am not still
In my mind I build a thousand cities
In my soul I sail a thousand seas
In my heart I walk a thousand paths
And the thousands are three
and the three are one
and the one is all
and the all is one
6
Three times will you meet me
Thrice I will be found
Once in the eyes of your father
Twice in your baby daughter
and thrice in the beauty all around
the beauty all around
Three times I will teach you
Three times you must learn
Once from the books so smart
twice from the depths of your heart
and thrice from the gifts you did not earn
the gifts you did not earn
Three ways will I love thee
Thrice will you find love
Once in your lover’s smile
Twice in the hand of a child
and thrice in the light from the heavens above
the light from the heavens above
7
Oh LORD, do not forsake me
Don’t leave me in the desert alone
I’m scared, LORD
My wings are grown
but I’m afraid to fly
© 2000 Christopher Sunami, all rights reserved
....back to Morning
...continue to Evening
Evening
a day in the life
by kitoba
Evening
1
I dreamed I heard a thousand voices
singing in my soul
But my own voice sang cacophonies
A thousand maddened braying donkeys
A thousand screaming monkeys
drowning out the choir
I tried my best to tame my voice
but now as I grow old
I hear the inner voices leaving
each is like a death bereaving
my soulless body left to grieving
on the funeral pyre
And the world shall never know the beauty lost
beneath the dust
2
Lover, I would rather know you
Than a thousand others unknown to me
The imagined perfection of their lips
Shrinks from the harsh perfection of your heavy lidded stare
Your petty cruelties and your sudden kindnesses
Alike are precious to me
In them I hear your name
The name I love to hear
When I am with you I laugh in the flush of my victory
And weep with the wretchedness of my defeat
I would not leave you if I could
And I cannot
Lover, I would rather know you
Than a thousand others unknown to me
You are the pit of unbounded confusion
And the well of finite pleasures
3
It’s hard & it’s hard to say goodbye
yet each of us was born to die
Through it all
in GOD we trust
Ashes to ashes & dust to dust
I’ll lay down my weary years
Say farewell to all my fears
Watch my soul become dispersed
The last to come will leave me first
Through it all in GOD I’ll trust
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
My thoughts were not mine till I made them so
I heard them come, I bid them go
Leave me now, you shall not end
but live again in the mind of a friend
My love was not mine, until it found me
and I was not me until it surrounded me
My love for you, it shall live on
until the last of love is gone
My body which housed me in stormy weather
shall fall apart as it was put together
as I embrace the hand of death
return to the air, thou sacred breath
my blood and my bone you
shall not find it odd
to be flesh of the earth
and one with the sod
each to its own
returns as it must
ashes to ashes
dust to dust
4
Love is loss
And life is loss
Yet love no matter what the cost
And live no matter what the pain
We shall not walk this way again
5
Where I did I see GOD
In the days when I still lived?
In the sunshine after rain
And the rain after drought
In the hopes of my adulthood
And the memories of my childhood
In the children not yet born
And in those who had passed on
In songs I half remembered
And in stories not yet told
In the dreams that I had
In the moment before waking
And the memories of my life
In the moment before death
© 2000 Christopher Sunami, all rights reserved
...back to Afternoon
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